i am a lurker down to my bones. if i had to guess, before twtter, i posted public stuff on the internet around 10 times total in my life, and i could probably name 70% of those times off the top of my head. that's social media posts, forum posts, in-game messages, imageboard posts. that feels sparse to me, especially as someone who considers themselves quite internet-native.
i started posting on twitter about 2 years ago. i don't remember what inspired me, but it seemed like an exciting place. posting was difficult. i tried to post something every day. for many things that i force myself to do, there are a set of motivations i can identify within myself about why i try to do them. posting on twitter had something to do with ~"making a legible record of myself for others to engage with".
i am in my head a lot. this was exacerbated when i've decided to write some things down about 3-4 years ago. i feel like i'm trying to catalog every idea and feeling that i experience. this is not great for my social behavior. i am lucky that in real life, my tendency towards reticence is generally compensated for by friend groups. however, because of that tendency, i don't feel like i've used twitter as-intended (by self-defined expectations). many things feel like distractions.
for better or for worse, i'm going to be trying this instead.